Nightlife: after a long pause…(Salsa and Kamasutra)

I used to go out a lot.  Especially when I was still working in my old office, hanging out and drinking ’til I drop was probably a day a week ritual.  As I get older, I hate the hangovers and I just turn into Cinderella around midnight.  Especially since I became pretty conscious about building my muscles and going to the gym religiously, and when my b/f was still alive, both of us are not really night people so we just hung out at my place.

Because I don’t drink much (zero calories, 6 packs…don’t want to lose them!), I started going to Grand Canyon Cafe’ (Darmawangsa Square, every weekend is Latin night) for salsa dancing last night.  Not only because my neighbor took salsa class and she wants company, but also to just get out of my grief and meet some good old friends when the Salsa Club still existed.  See, to dance Salsa, you cannot be drunk.  Instead, you sweat a lot and you drink plenty of water.  Healthy nightlife: sweat, aerobic, fun, no alcohol, no hang over. 

Last night was pretty different.  It seems like Tango is getting hot these days.  I like Tango, though I don’t know how do dance it, but the music is pretty mellow and the movements are not that energetic like Salsa.  After couple of Salsa songs and line dancing, one friend of mine suggested to move to Kamasutra at Crown Plaza.  I’ve never been there and the last time I was there, the club’s name was still Retro.  So five of us left the Salsa floor and moved to Kamasutra around midnight.

The band was good and entertaining, but it was not too crowded. I tried to examine the crowd, most of them are young, some expats, pretty good mixture.  But so polite: we arrived and danced our ass off, while most of the people were sitting down nicely.  And we were not even drunk yet!  As the clock starts ticking, alcohol level gets high, then you see people started to dance with the band.   Unlike Red Square, this place is not packed, which is much more pleasant.  The band played songs which really hit me. 

As a designated driver, I only had a bottle of Corona.

And when the clock hits 2 am, I started thinking about my dogs.  They must be confused why their mommie is still not home.  At 3am, I moved out from the place. 

As I can recall, I was jumping and dancing around along the music for 2 hours then I just stopped dancing.  Tired, bored.  Age? Grief?  As far as I know, I am now totally a different person than, say, 5 years ago.  I kept thinking, what’s the point of this?  Shouldn’t I be better sleeping at home?  Or am I just testing myself whether I can still handle nightlife in Jakarta?

Being a morning person, I woke up aroudn 8am, sat around, ate breakfast and hit the gym working out my lower body and had lunch with my neighbor and two other friends and Star Deli.  Then took a long nap with my sweet dogs.  And now, I’m waiting for my sleeping pills to take action.

I don’t know what the point of this article, really, but I guess grieving has to be fought in any ways.  I cannot indulge my pain forever.  Forcing myself to the gym which has lots of memories and hanging out with some different society, for sure, reduce the pain.  But just for a while.  But it is ok than never.

The pain is still there but that’s life.  Feeling the pain, like my other article, shows that I am alive, fully alive.  And the Salsa dance and Kamasutra was one test for myself whether it works to reduce the pain.  It managed to make me forget about it even for a while, and let me express my pain by dancing and singing along “I will survive” and “Fly away”.  But the most that help is, being with good friends and having good conversations. 

Grief.  Takes time to accept the fact that he is gone forever.