My Busy Brain

Al Barqah, my assistant, my family

 When I moved from my apartment to where I live now, there were two important things that substantially changed in my life:  I will be living with my dogs again (Samba and Atun), and I will live with a maid.   Readers outside Indonesia, especially those in Europe and America might think that I’m extremely rich to have a maid, but maid(s) is very common in Indonesia if you live in a house in Jakarta.  They clean the house, cook, do laundry, sometimes go across to the traditional market to grab some fresh vegetables, water the plants.  It is quite essential to have one maid for me that I trust the house to when I leave for work from 6:00am-6:00pm, sometimes later than that.

My apartment rent was almost due in January 2007 and I plan to rent a house so that I can take two of my dogs with me (ex husband was getting overwhelmed taking care of 4 dogs).  Coincidentally, my friend Cherine called me and said she was moving to Dubai because she was getting married in November 2006 and follow her husband there.  She asked me if I would like to rent the place she was living at.  After looking at the house and fell in love with it.

Then I received a call from Cherine’s maid while I was shopping for stuff for the new home.  She said, “This is Al, I would like to apply as a maid and live with you”.  Hmh.  Seems like everything is falling into places!  Having Cherine’s recommendation and knowing finding a person I can trust is difficult, I accepted her on the spot. 

Her name is Al Barqah, born in Cilacap, 9 March 1986.  She is the 5th of 7 children.  Her father died in 2005, he was a rice field farmer.  Her mom (58 years old) lives with the youngest child in Wanarja, Central Java, about 6 hours from Jakarta.  Her other syblings work in Jakarta as a driver, cashier in a small canteen, building labour and housemaid.  They all send money to her, to support their mother and school for the youngest.  She only finished elementary school and started to work as a housemaid in 2004.

I moved into the house on Valentines day, 2007.  Me, my dogs and Al living in one new roof.  In couple of days, I figured out that Al is very diligent, handy, and the important part is, quick to learn and adapt to my life.  I am an easy going person and don’t have too much requirement, so we get together well.  She is easy to teach, can read a new recipe and try to cook it (and a very good cook!).  She cleans the house very well, organize everything, and my dogs love her.

Months passed and she is more than just a maid.  She often sit with me while I eat dinner, we talk about lots of things including her boyfriend at that time, her family, my family, my friends and a lot about life.  She often asks for advice, we watch TV together during the night, I even taught her how to play ‘Sudoku’ and I print out lots of that game from the office for her to play.  We go grocery shopping every weekend, makes the list of what we need in the house.  She is a very lovable person and very trustworthy; she returns every cent of the money if I ask her to pay for security, garbage, or buy veggies in the local market.

Al taking picture

She takes care of me very well.  Actually, she spoils me rotten.  She knows what vitamins and medicines I have to take and prepare them at night in my small medicine box.  She reminds me to charge my cellphone and ask what I want to wear to the gym and toss it in my gym bag.  She tells me if my clothes don’t match with my shoes, that my office shirts are worn out and help me pick clothes in the mall (and she has a good taste!).  I taught her technology for return, how to turn on my DVD and iPod, charge my laptop, showed her my diving gear and what they are for and ask her opinion on every pictures I took underwater.  The latest skill that I taught her was how to take pictures with my Canon G9 and we went photo hunting (for the jilbab series, I will have one of her shot.  She also took the picture of my back on the “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” article). 

When she broke up, I gave her spirit and taught her my bit of feminism.  That she is worth more than how she was treated by her boyfriend.  When I was depressed and in bed, she took care of me, called my close friends and sat on the bed holding my hand.  When she found a new boyfriend, she told showed his picture to me and introduced him to me.  When I started dating, she was happy and when I broke up, she gave me spirit.

Al is more than just an assistant, but she is part of my family.  My family also love her and told me how lucky I am to have her living with me.  She is loyal, smart and diligent, good with my nieces.  My dogs refuse to eat when she goes home to her village during Idul Fitri because they miss her.  My friends Renville and Tio loves how she makes instant noodles and coffee. 

Al enjoying her first muffin at Coffee Bean, Citos

Sometimes after grocery shopping with her, we stop by at a coffee shop and I treat her.  Coming from a small village, she never experienced eating bread from ‘Bread Talk’, hanging out in a cafe, eat muffin or doughnut.  I told her that most people who work in office hang out at cafes, waiting for traffic to calm down and talk about business.  This weekend, I took her to Coffee Bean at Cilandak Square.  She was surprised to learn how much it cost for two muffins, a cup of cappucino and ice tea (Rp. 78,000, about US$ 6).  I told her that people pay for the table, not only for food.  And she liked her chocolate muffin very much.

For me, I learn the basic things from her: honesty, modesty and love.  I am not ashamed crying in front of her when I’m sad and I can tell her freely that I am sad or heartbroken.  And she easily reminded me to be patient, or say, “You told me to be strong when I was heart broken.  You have to remember what you told me”.  Or simply just say, “You are a nice person, that’s why I like living with you.  Just be patient, God will make things better for nice people”.  Simple, sincere and loving. 

Al is part of my family.  She is my assistant, not my maid.  She is my extended family, my friend, my sister.  And I hope she will live with me for a long time, even when she gets married.  I promised her mother that I will take care and look after her.  And I told her boyfriend if he mistreat her, he will face me (scared the shit out of him).

One day, if I manage to have my own little consulting company, I will upgrade her to be my secretary, teach her to reply emails and pick up business phone calls.  Or tell her how to take better photos and use photoshop.  As I upgrade myself, she must be upgraded as well.  I hope I can always be a good person for her and look forward sharing what life offers for us in the future.  Because even she only graduated from elementary school, I learn a lot of things from her.  An awful lot about life and sincerity.